Stop Blaming Yourself
by SisterSafetyPin
Summary: Faith just wants to dance, to forget. Willow has other plans. Faith/? NOT Faith/Willow Femslash F/F


**Disclaimer**: ALL HAIL JOSS WHEDON! As you can see, I am merely a servant playing with the master's toys... And what lovely toys... I similarly don't own the song Complicated by the Cliks. That belongs to the lovely Lucas

**AN: **I went through a Faith/Anyone but Buffy phase. In the meantime...

* * *

**Stop Blaming Yourself**

_Fuck... your pain away  
It's what you had to do  
To fall on through to emotion  
_

I love this place. The energy here is just so… alive. Everyone dancing with everyone and no one at the same time… this is my home, the only place I can completely let loose and be myself other then when I'm slaying of course. Another plus to this over slaying… I can't fuck up and get anyone hurt…Wait no, I came here to not think about that and I wont. But alas every great thing has a downfall and the downfall of this place is this guy getting a little to friendly with my ass. I'll give him to the count of three to go away. One… two… thre…

"Faith."

Fuck! How did she find me? This isn't a normal spot for me! Doesn't matter, I don't want to talk... maybe I should tell her that, "Go away Red, I don't feel like talking right now." Ha, I feel like I told her and she should be leaving now.

"Faith, you should come home."

Leaving, that's what she should be doing not still talking to me. "Red... I REALLY don't feel like talking right now. So why don't you go home and leave me to it." Now if she would just leave…

"Faith, she knows it's not your fault…"

Ok, so now I don't want to dance anymore, I want a drink and lucky me there's the bar. I don't want to talk about it Red so go."

"Then what do you want to do Faith, get drunk so you can hook up with some one, go home, pass out, wake up and feel even more guilty then before?"

"Well that sounds like a plan Red, thanks for understanding. So I take it you will be leaving now to leave me to my self destructive plan you just helped me make so...bye." Who knew Red could be so understanding?

"Faith, damnit! Kennedy needs you right now, you're her girlfriend for crying out loud! What she doesn't need is some drunk girl who can't remember her name later!"

Ok, I have had enough! Listen, Willow... I am glad that you care about my girl... about Kenn, but I am the last person she needs right now. Did you not see the way she looked when I brought her in tonight? Maybe you forgot let me refresh your memory! She had a stake in her stomach! There was blood all over her, just pouring out of her and the stake wasn't even out yet! God I feel sick just thinking about it

"Fai…"

"NO Red, I can't! How am I supposed to go home and see her like that? Knowing I, her girlfriend, couldn't protect her? The one person I should have made sure was safe! Oh yeah Red, I can totally see how she would need me right now! I gotta get out of here.

"Faith... Faith! Where are you going!"

"Away from you since you wont leave me alone." Now if she would just stop following me.

"Faith... Faith will you stop acting like a stubborn brat! I don't know how you two live together you're both completely stubborn! SHE NEEDS YOU! Do you know how close to death she was when you brought her to us? You're right Faith, she had lost a LOT of blood. If you had been any later she would not have made it! She…"

"Exactly, Red that's what I've been trying to tell you! That is exactly why she doesn't need me there right now. Because of me she almost died!"

"Faith, you two attempted to take down a vampire nest with over a hundred vampires in there, another shining example of the stubbornness or should I say stupidity you two both posses. There is no way you could have prevented what happened. Not with that many vamps, but Faith you need to stop thinking about how all this made you feel and how Kennedy is feeling right now. Like I said she almost died. You know how that feels, how terrifying discovering that being a slayer does not mean indestructible, can be. After all did you not find your self in a similar situation a few years ago? Go to her Faith, like I said so many times before already tonight, she needs you. If only to be comforted by her girlfriend."

Oh God I didn't even think about how she could be feeling, I mean Red's right I should have been with her. Great Faith, make your girlfriend suffer alone while you go clubbing to make yourself forget, I mean"

"FAITH! I can tell that you are doing a great job of imitating me by babbling to yourself but shouldn't you be heading back to Kenn now?"

Huh, babbling? Who's... wait yeah I can kinda see where I was babbling I mean Kenn, "Yeah Red I'm gonna head home are you coming, cause I can walk you back to your place?"

"No Faith, just go to Kennedy, I don't need to be walked home anymore. I've learned to take care of myself since Sunnydale you know."

"Yeah I do, I had to offer I couldn't just let my girls best friend go with out offering to escort first though."

"Well then thank you Faith."

"No problem and Willow, thanks for coming after me."

"It's ok Faith, I couldn't let my best friend's girl beat herself up all night, well not when she could be comforting said best friend. Go to her Faith."

I don't know how I got so lucky, but I'm glad Red and I became friends. Now to go to Kenn…

"Faith?"

"It's me baby. I'm here, you should be sleep though even with slayer healing and Red's spell you'll need to rest to completely heal."

"I couldn't sleep."

"Does it still hurt? I thought Red's spell took care of that."

"No, well yeah but only a little, I was a sleep then I started having this nightmare about what happened and when I woke up you weren't here. I didn't want to go back to sleep after that. Plus I was kinda worried about you"

"I'm sorry, I'm here now do you want me to do anything? I can get you some pain pills if you want"

"No, I don't need anything. Just... just hold me?"

"Always, now try to get some sleep. I love you Kenn."

"I love you too Faith. And Faith?"

"Yeah?"

"Stop blaming yourself."

_Fuck your pain away_  
_I saw in you, I fell on through_  
_to devotion..._

**The end**


End file.
